"Don't part with your dreams - when they are gone you may still exist but you will have ceased to live" - Mark Twain

"Do you know that this blog wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you being here to read it!?" - Bobby Gill

Friday, 16 September 2011

Is Honesty Over-rated?

Is honesty the best policy?

Do you tell people the truth in business, relationships and in what you do?

Do you offer guarantees you don't plan on providing or making promises you know you can't keep?

When you say you'll do something or won't do something - it is your actions that will speak louder than your words.

Fakes and liars usually get caught out eventually, so why start that way?
Do you have a hidden agenda when you start a communication or tell half-truths to get what you want?

Those that lie to get what they want… shame on you!
Is that the best way to start off in business or a relationship?

In a world that is short of honesty at the moment and full of fakes, you will stand out from the crowd and attract people, business and opportunities to yourself.  I've always been pretty honest with everyone, now even more so and I find it works wonders.  In relationships, job interviews, business meetings and friendship.

Tell business partners what you are able to offer with 100% certainty versus what you hope you might be able to do.  It's OK to say you don't know as well and that you will find out, instead of B.S. your way through.

Tell your customers the truth about what you can and can't do.  Maybe they will buy something else or come back again knowing you aren't going to try to sell them crap.

People find it refreshing and know you have integrity from what you say and how you say it.
For example with a job or relationship, can you guarantee how it will work out or how long it will last?  Many will come up with all sorts of waffle, when in reality you can either refer to past experience (remember past performance is still not a guarantee of future performance) or just say that you will do your best and make sure if things change, you will be open and honest and make sure the issues are fixed before dumping the project.

When you tell the truth, you will feel better about yourself and allow others to feel better that they can be open too.

- Go on give it a try.  Tell your partner something honest today that you've wanted to get off your chest and ask them if there is anything they'd like to say.  Chances are the conversation won't go as badly as you imagined and if it does (I can't make any guarantees it won't) - you may feel bad in the moment but this is only temporary, as afterwards you will feel much lighter.

Having shared a secret that was burning you up inside, you will find the burden lifted when you don't have to protect it and hold it close any longer.

Sometimes more problems are caused by what remains unsaid versus what is said.

People lie to get a short term gain and do not want to feel any short term pain.  The thing is when the lie catches up eventually, you are likely to feel more pain.

It may start with one small lie, then it grows and moves to other lies and eventually you will forget which 'story' you told.  It is much easier to live one honest life than try to remember many fake stories.

Why would you want to keep the people that you know and care about guessing, when you can clear everything up for them with the truth.

- Are you able to be honest today with someone or does it scare you that much?

Guess what, if there is something that you can't tell someone else, then it is only yourself you're lying to and being dishonest with!

The biggest challenge people have is being honest with themselves about what they can or can't do and what is really true.

Never say never, as there may be things that you are selectively forgetting so you can be 'right' as opposed to 'honest'.

How many lies do you tell yourself everyday? You can change anytime.

When you lie to yourself and argue with others (or self) about how things are, you are creating a reality that may not serve you best and may not be true or honest.
"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." - Richard Bach

When you start to tell the truth and people see, hear and feel it - you will be someone that they can trust more than all the other people they know.   The bonus is that you will also start to trust yourself more too.  If you are honest with yourself, you're less likely to make stupid ego-driven mistakes.

So take a stand for truth, honesty and integrity and watch your world change.

Please note honesty does not apply to lawyers, solicitors and career politicians as they are used to twisting the truth. So no matter how truthful you are, they will always bend it to what suits 'them' through legal double-talk.  No offence intended if you fall into these categories - I just had to be honest about this too!