Well as the New Year is upon us, many will be reflecting on the past and thinking about their hopes for the future. Too many people will be looking back and thinking what they didn't achieve, do or make happen last year and feel disappointed.
It is all a matter of perspective though. Do you really want to think about what went 'wrong'!?
What if you focus on what you DID achieve, do and make happen?
Wouldn't you then be grateful for everything instead...
This is something that Dr John Demartini posted that you should read carefully and meditate upon.
"As you reflect on 2015, think about what you have accomplished during the course of this year. It is wise to think of what you have achieved in the different areas of your life.
Exercise:
1. Spiritually what have you achieved?
2. Vocationally what have you achieved?
3. Mentally what have you achieved?
4. Financially what have you achieved?
5. Familial what have you achieved?
6. Physically what have you achieved?
7. Socially what have you achieved?"
Do you now see how successful your year actually was? The great things that DID happen and achievements that make you happy when you think about them.
Let's talk about NOW! Note how this post is title "How To Have Better Luck THIS Month"
People tend to make plans for the future, then when it is time to do something, they fail to take the right actions. How familiar does this sound... "Tomorrow (next week/month) I will do X"?
I used to be a first class procrastinator, so I know from experience. How does "Now I will do X" feel?
Also 'luck' is a completely different subject which I'll cover another time - for now you'll just have to create it with some decisions, commitment and a little work.
Instead, ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow. The actions don't have to be huge or drastic, they just need to be in alignment with what you really want.
Of course it's good to make plans for the future to know where you're going but you need to take the right steps regularly as well. So if there is something you want to achieve, why not START today...
Let's look at 3 areas that people are usually concerned about and the language they use.
- Health
- "I want to lose weight" or "I want to get fit"
Is that what they really mean? Do they believe if they lose x lbs/kgs they will be happier?
Do they see 'fit' as the (fake) or extremely 'perfect' people on TV and magazines?
Maybe thinking about it as "I want to be healthy" would be better...
This way the focus is on a healthy lifestyle and if you're overweight, your body knows what it's ideal weight is (not a 'right' weight from a textbook) and will get back there, as long as you work with it, instead of eating crap food and excess calories for the sake of it.
- How about... "I want to quit drinking" or "I want to stop eating so much junk food"
This time it is about stopping something, which is probably now a habit on auto-pilot. Society, family and you have trained yourself to make this something that you just do without even thinking most of the time.
It's simple to make the decision not to eat the wrong foods - but it isn't necessarily easy when that's what you're used to. Also the habit needs to be replaced with something else, something that is beneficial and will do you good.
Maybe rephrase it as "I want to start drinking more water and fresh juice" and "I want to eat healthier foods". When you've decided this is what you want to do instead, commit to it!
Don't say "I'll just finish this off first though." Take action and either give away the alcohol (to friends) and fizzy drinks, biscuits and other poor food choices, lying around the kitchen, to a charity. Or simply pour it down the sink and throw it in the bin. You don't have to finish it (as you eating it won't benefit those 'starving people' with any twisted logic or justification you can dream up.)
Remember you've not started on your new path until you're moving off the old one.
You can eat crap sometimes later, if you want - but give yourself a fighting chance by avoiding it altogether for at least a couple of weeks!
When I stopped drinking around 8 years ago, I used to go out with my student and work friends 3-4 times a week. During my first 2 weeks of tee-total (and vegetarian) they tested me and gave me so much grief and pressure to conform to my (their) old habits. But I persevered and won and felt better for it. I do occasionally drink now and eat meat but the difference is that I don't need to and it doesn't control my food choices. I committed and stuck with my plan, regardless of outside temptations. It was a test of will-power but you CAN do whatever it is that you really want to achieve.
- Wealth
- "I want to make more money"
Will making more money make you happier? Will it ease your financial burdens or will you just spend more on stuff that you don't really need?
Maybe say "I want to utilise money smarter". This could mean looking at your expenditure and reducing any waste. Cancel the Direct Debits for subscriptions you don't need or use that much. Find a cheaper insurance company and utility supplier. Don't waste as much money on crap you don't need but just wanted one day. You'll find you'll end up with more money.
Of course you can also look at ways to make more money as well - but if you've not reduced your costs where you can save it today - you may find your bad habits spend/waste any extra you would earn as well.
- Relationships
- "I need to find a partner who will love me."
Do you really need someone else to be loved? Of course it's great to be appreciated by others but if you have low self-worth, lack confidence and don't really love yourself, finding a partner to fill that gap will only be a temporary fix.
How about a mantra of "I am worthy of love" and "I am enough as I am"
"I am going to be more confident" - find out how you can be more confident in life and happy being with yourself. You will then also become more attractive to others, as they will see you are love and happy - and who doesn't like to be around those kinds of people!? You know when you're around someone like this as you feel good about yourself too. You don't need someone else to be love - but once you find love within yourself, you will find it around you too.
(Of course this is a deeper topic, I just wanted to touch upon it here to give you another perspective if you'd not considered it before).
How could you rephrase what you think about these areas and others that you want to see improvements in? Can you change the words you use, so they make more sense, have more impact and are easier to achieve?
Once you've done that, you also need to get started on making things happen.
- Commitment
First you need to decide your new goals that you want to take action and make a commitment to actually DO things differently. To tell people publicly is a sign to show the world that you are actually serious about the new cause and activities you are going to embark upon.
This leads into the next step...
- Accountability
After deciding and committing to a course of action, you need to make sure you actually do it and take steps towards your goals. You can reach your goals without this but what better way than for someone to ask you regularly how you are getting on?
To be held accountable, tell a friend (who won't let you off easily) and trusts that you will do what you say. They will keep you on track and support you in making sure you honour your word (commitment).
- Honesty
You have to be honest with yourself and your accountability partner.
What do you have to gain by lying to yourself about what you want or are prepared to do? If your heart isn't in it, simply don't commit to it. You'll only end up feeling bad when you don't do what you said you would.
Also why lie to someone who you've asked to help you stay on track. The whole point of accountability is to be held responsible to your commitments.
If you're unable or unwilling to be honest, then this is something you really need to work on.
Too many people, lie too often and think it is inconsequential. It is not!
Your character is built on what you say, mean and is true.
Actions speak louder than words anyway - and if you lie, you will not be congruent and out of alignment with yourself and life. Don't live a fraudulent life but an honest one.
Maybe this could be the one thing that makes you luckier and changes your life drastically this year?
What do you have to gain by lying to yourself about what you want or are prepared to do? If your heart isn't in it, simply don't commit to it. You'll only end up feeling bad when you don't do what you said you would.
Also why lie to someone who you've asked to help you stay on track. The whole point of accountability is to be held responsible to your commitments.
If you're unable or unwilling to be honest, then this is something you really need to work on.
Too many people, lie too often and think it is inconsequential. It is not!
Your character is built on what you say, mean and is true.
Actions speak louder than words anyway - and if you lie, you will not be congruent and out of alignment with yourself and life. Don't live a fraudulent life but an honest one.
Maybe this could be the one thing that makes you luckier and changes your life drastically this year?
You might already have strategies to get to your goals.
Ask yourself, have they worked for you in the past?
Do you believe they are the only way to do it?
Some people are only interested in doing things 'their way' and what they already know. They don't like to find out more or do things a different way. Others don't like to ask for help or accept it - they'd rather remain 'stuck' than do and get what they say they really want.
Why not find someone who has the results you want and ask them how they achieved it.
Wouldn't it be simpler to do it by following their strategies?
Seek out a coach or mentor. There are people that love to help others, as it makes them feel good about themselves, valued and they are also making your life better and the world a better place.
You just have to be vulnerable, share your challenges and ASK for help.
Joining the gym in January and quitting in February might not be working for you.
Getting a personal trainer instead, to hold you accountable as well, would be a better solution.
Of course if you decide what you said you wanted to do changes - or you don't want to do it anymore, then that's OK too. It's not failure if you decide you want to do something else instead or you don't really value what you thought you did. Other things might be more important to you and trying something new will show you what you do and don't value in life.
Remember change is simple, although it might not always be easy.
You know what you want to do, the next step is doing it consistently.
Take The Correct Actions AND Do Them Often To Create New Beneficial Habits!
I've coached and worked with people and entrepreneurs, who started off on one path but then decided they didn't want to continue, it was too much hard work or they wanted to do something else instead.
That's fine! It's your life and you can do whatever you want to. No-one should decide your goals or force you to do something you really don't want to. Of course sometimes it's worth persevering but it's always YOUR choice! People should love you and accept you as you are!
Send me a message to let me know what you're committing to and I'll even check in regularly to see how you're getting along if you want. It doesn't matter what area of your life you want to improve, it always helps to have someone supportive hold you accountable to doing what you say.
I hope this has been useful and if you want to make a public commitment to do something, then do so. Post it on Facebook/Twitter and tell people that you know. Or send me a message if I can support you in any other way.
Let's make this day/week/month/year a most excellent one!
I was asked to write an article for the YES newsletter on networking, then Andrea suggested a Valentine's edition would be better suited to love. Oh yes, a topic I'm an expert on!?! So I thought I'd write about the kinds of people that we all know, who are close to us and you might even recognise a little bit of yourself.
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