Some Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

Things that kids did not and will not learn in school. How feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept sets them up for failure in the real world.  See the list below...

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! 

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. 

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. 

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. 

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. 

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. 

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. 

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. 

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters.. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. 

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. 

Rule 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts. 

Rule 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately. 

Rule 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.  

You're welcome.

Original list by Charles J. Sykes

Author of "Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add" 

and "50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School: Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education"

http://www.the50rules.com

FIFA World Cup 2010 - Getting the rules straight up front

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FnVKFmDGJc

Dear Wife/Sweetheart/Girlfriend/Partner/Whoever it may concern,

1. Between 11th June and 11th of July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that your aware of what is going on regarding the world of football and you will be able to join in conversations.
If you fail to do this then you may be ignored. DO NOT complain that your not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the TV is mine, at all times.

3. You can pass by the TV as long as your crawling on the floor and don’t distract me.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute unless I need a refill on my drink or need something to eat. So I wont be answering the phone or the door or look after the baby.

5. It would be a very good idea to have at least 2 six-packs in the fridge at all times and have plenty of food in. You may be allowed to use the TV during 12am and 6am unless their is a replay of a really good game.

6. Please! If you see me upset as one of my teams are losing DON’T say “get over it, it’s only a game” or “don’t worry they will win next time”. You will only make me love you less.

7. You may watch one game with me. But you can only talk during the half time commercials.

8. The replays of goals are very important if I have seen them or not, I will want to see them again many times!

9. Please tell your friends not to have any babies or any other child related parties or any gatherings that require my attendance as I will NOT BE GOING!

10. But if a friend of mine invites us to their house to watch a game then we will be there in a flash.

11. The highlights programme is just as important as the games themselves.

12. And finally, please save expressions such as “Thank god the World Cup is only on every 4 years”. Because after this I have the Premier League, Champions League, SPL, Serie A, La Liga, Bundesliga, FA Cup etc to look forward to.

P.S. if you get stuck on the road phone the Police or the AA.

Thank you for your co-operation.


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The offside rule explained for girls:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!